Suits, the first few seasons at least, is a favorite of mine. I enjoy the intensity, the submersion you experience, and the legal terms usually used to get me out of a parking ticket or the upper hand in an argument.
I always thought of Harvey Specter as a quintessential superhero, where he handles situations like a boss and remains calm under pressure. This of course led me down a rabbit hole and before I knew it, I was watching a video on him produced by charisma on demand.
Side note: This content is in no way endorsed, sponsored, or affiliated with Charisma on demand, but hey #hookmeup if you know them.
Anyway, I digress, in this article, I will be sharing the tips of conveying a sense of confidence and power in any setting or situation. I will then try to apply them in our world of becoming better men.
So, let’s get started:
1) Control the situation with your Body Language and tone.
You can re-watch any episode of Suits and something that immediately stands out is that Harvey’s body language and tone are often in service of establishing the fact that he controls the situation and therefore is the more powerful person in an interaction. Harvey enters a room brashly and intensely; this creates the idea that he is in control of the situation. Our primal brains still look to someone like this (read badass) as a leader immediately, we just can’t help it. Harvey also reacts slowly if given an order or command.
Now how do we apply this in our lives?
Make an entrance, don’t be afraid to be seen. Ensure that when you walk in a room you are noticed, be it with a persona of confidence, an exclamation of greeting at a party or by greeting everyone in the office. Secondly, when given an assignment at work, don’t immediately jump up and run to get it done. Calmly stand up, ensure you understand the assignment, ask your supervisor/boss, if need be, and give off the sense of “Hell yeah I can do it” and go get it done.
2) When in a confrontation, attack the situation, not the content.
Harvey Specter does not care about the opinions of those around him. Harvey can take an insult and reply in such a way that he is not a victim but rather such a confident individual, that words cannot hurt him. Harvey will respond to an insult in a way that you know he is still in control of the situation.
Application:
Let’s take the following situation, be it at a party, work, or church. If I were to insult you by saying “your breath stinks”, you have two options. One, you can attack the content by saying “No, it’s not me I swear, I brushed my teeth this morning”, or two, you can brush it off and make a joke by saying “yeah I have been talking too much shit with you.”
The first response is that of weakness, it is the action of someone that is begging for acceptance, the second response is that of a lion not concerning itself with the opinions of sheep.
3) Don’t be there to impress.
Harvey interacts with clients with the belief that he is not there to impress or to supplicate to them. The unspoken truth is that they are lucky to be working with him so when they begin to disrupt this by treating him as an inferior, he quickly asserts that he has the power to leave them.
How to apply this:
Why are you paid to work? Is it because the company just likes you and wants to give you money, or is it because you add value? Are you in a relationship, romantic or friendship, to be a bystander or to add value?
By acknowledging that you add value to everything you do, you have the power to stand up for yourself and demand the respect you deserve. If the other party is not willing to give it to you, leave. The right company, relationship, or situation will always value you.
4) Learn to become an expert at framing your options in any scenario.
Harvey is an expert at framing one’s options in any situation. Harvey frames the situation of his opponents in such a way that they have very limited choices. There are only two options in the mind of his opponents, one, what they want to do, or two the right option of what he wants them to do. By implementing this, he creates the illusion that he has total control. We know this is not true, and should the opponent think logically, he will of course find alternative options, but by controlling the situation, Harvey gets what he wants.
How to use this
Please don’t start talking to your friends or significant other with the mindset of controlling them, you will be out on your ass quite quickly. Rather, when trying to convince someone, create two scenarios, one the scenario you want, and two the scenario where everything goes to hell. In doing this, you take away from them the choice to see alternatives, they are convinced that only two options are available. If you want to convince your boss to go a certain route, tell him the way you prefer by starting with “we have option A” where you explain and list all the positives and then continue with “or we can go for option B” and then add a horrible situation (realistic of course) which entails Armageddon to a certain extend.
5) Create options for yourself
Harvey Specter knows that, in any negotiation, the one with the better alternative options will win. This is because they can afford to care less. Harvey knows that he can always get another client or another job or find another way if someone closes one path to him. He has power because he doesn’t need anyone specific to do anything specific for him, he can get what he wants and needs from a variety of sources.
Application:
By knowing that nothing except death is the end, we are empowered to walk away. By understanding that you are a person of value, as stated above, you have the power to simply go. This mindset can be a great tool in the negotiation of salary or the price of property etc. You know that you will be all right, I know sometimes it doesn’t feel that way, but you will! Take power by knowing that, this situation is not the end all be all, there will be other jobs, other loves, and other friends.
So go on, use these techniques, and be a more confident and powerful man.
Till next time,
Just a guy trying to be a man.
